"The Five Invitations" by Frank Ostaseski
book reviews, relationships, self-realization, social studies, spirituality
The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully by Frank Ostaseski; Kindle Edition, 305 pages; Published March 14th 2017 by Flatiron Books (first published 2017); ASIN: B01KTBCZD4
...Death is a good companion on the road to living well and dying without regret…
A really fine book and guide produced by Frank Ostaseski, who I discovered via watching YouTube videos of Stephen Levine. It is recommended to acquaint oneself with Frank through videos first to witness for yourself his kindness, softness, and loving attention firsthand. He is a big man who emits a wonderful gentleness and loving heart. Then, when you pick up the book, he will always be present and his written words will echo with his soothing voice. The humility of this healer is amazing. A few of his own words will suffice as my review of this most important book.
...The Five Invitations:
1. Don’t wait.
2. Welcome everything, push away nothing.
3. Bring your whole self to the experience.
4. Find a place of rest in the middle of things.
5. Cultivate don’t know mind…
...The truth of life is that its one constant is change. When we look closely, is there anything else? Not living in harmony with this truth causes us no end of suffering. It strengthens our ignorance and sets up the habits of craving, defense, and regret. These habits harden into character and have a powerful momentum that frequently shows up as obstacles to peace at the time of dying…
...That naming of what is going on in our present moment is so powerful...Sharing our stories helps us to heal…
...Impermanence is humbling…We know that the end of all accumulation is dispersion. Reflecting on this might help us to practice simplicity and discover what has real value. We know that all relationships will end in separation. Reflecting on this might keep us from being overwhelmed by grief and inspire us to distinguish love from attachment…
...Everything will come apart. That is true of our bodies, our relationships, all of life. It is happening all the time, not just at the end when the curtain falls. Coming together inevitably means parting. Don’t be troubled. This is the nature of life…Impermanence is the doorway to possibility. Embracing it is where true freedom lies…
...Earth dissolves into water. Water dissolves into fire. Fire dissolves into air. Air dissolves into space. Space dissolves into consciousness…
...The “good death” is a myth. Dying is messy. People who are dying often leave skid marks, dragging their heels as they go. Some people turn away from others and never look back…
...Attachment masquerades as love…Love is selfless; attachment is self-centered....
...The refusal to forgive is a way we resist life. We can be very loyal to our suffering. Yet when we cling tightly to our past, we hold on to not just the memories, but also the tension and the emotional states that go along with them...We can let the past dissolve. We can leave it behind. We can say good-bye to old wounds…Forgiveness isn’t about squelching any of these emotions. It is about facing them with kindness, paying close attention to what is getting in the way of our letting go...
...All forgiveness is self-forgiveness. It is a remarkable form of self-acceptance that allows us to release unbelievable pain...
...Dukkha arises from ignorance, from not understanding that everything is impermanent, unreliable, and ungraspable—and wanting it to be otherwise…
...As people come closer to death, I have found that only two questions really matter to them: “Am I loved?” and “Did I love well?”
...Soul is about presence…
...Fixing and helping are draining. Over time, we may burn out. But service is renewing...
...Most grown-ups are not ogres, yet inevitably they pass along their unconscious assumptions, unskillful strategies, prejudices, and biases from their own unexamined lives…
...People don’t usually think of wisdom as innate. They believe it is something you must acquire over the course of a lifetime through experience. It’s true, there is an analytical wisdom that needs to be trained and developed over time…
...we might see the obstacles as doorways. We could move toward them, gently and persistently, in order to understand what they are all about…
...this old habit, we need strength. Essential strength comes from repeated encounters with our basic nature...Telling the emotional truth, expressing disinterest in the critic’s advice, using humor, staying connected to your physical center, harnessing your strength—all these strategies are meant to restore our contact with the dynamic expansiveness that is our essential nature…
...Your thoughts and emotions are not who you are. They pass through you, but they are not you…
...You are as amazing as the blue sky above us. Your emotions are like the clouds passing through the sky...The ability to watch our inner dramas without getting lost in judgment or reactivity is essential to spiritual growth…
...Our willingness to experience and investigate our suffering gives rise to compassion and kindness…In surrendering to our grief, we have learned to give ourselves to life...Compassion requires that we get in touch with what hurts...The intelligence of compassion brings forward a kindness that is not trying to get rid of suffering…
...Altruism is a natural expression…
Thank you for the restack